


You're Somebody Else

by Almonde



Category: Tenet (2020)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:22:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29710890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Almonde/pseuds/Almonde
Summary: I finally saw the other him in those brown eyes.(ENG translation)
Relationships: Neil & The Protagonist (Tenet), Neil/The Protagonist (Tenet)
Kudos: 4





	You're Somebody Else

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration and plot taken from flux's video (TAT it's literally a masterpiece pls go and watch it!  
> yt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9y73YCbjjQ

I finally saw the other him in those brown eyes.

The hot and humid climate of Mumbai enveloped everything in a somewhat breathless, stifling space, and the water molecules from the recent showers that lingered in the grey sky crumpled the otherwise stiff fabrics. Vendors still clamoured for brightly coloured fabrics and jewellery everywhere in the street, and a noisy crowd huddled together, a bustling marketplace and exotic languages intertwined in his ears as Neil walked briskly through the crowded alleyways, folder in hand, no longer of much use, towards the club down the street.

Neil glances at the pendulum clock on the wall and out of the corner of his eye he glances at the figure at the entrance. A polite smile remained on his face, but the friction of his fingertips had already revealed the apprehension and nervousness of his heart.

This is the moment, he thought.

He rose and took his seat beside the man, extending his hand at the slightly surprised look on the other man's face. He heard his name, heard the man recount his mission, heard a message that had travelled back in time, the words spelled out in phrases, a hint of steadiness missing from the familiar voice, replaced by the earnestness and urgency of youth. The warmth of his hand had not yet dissipated, the only physical contact felt like a needle piercing the red thread called sensibility, too many emotions suddenly flooding his mind, Neil waved his hand, "Time isn't the problem, getting out alive's the problem."

It's like us, making up for those absent memories over countless hours, piecing together two different memories at the right time to meet up again with the younger or older other when we lose each other. Neil blinked and raised his glass to take a sip, the drink paired with the coldness of lime and ice, pushing the images hidden deep in his mind into view, gradually unfolding until their figures overlap. Of course, right now, he wouldn't know any of this.

Nor would he know that Neil saw through him to another, much older him.

The warm brown eyes, the carefully groomed beard, the habitual little gestures, all the things that seemed so familiar about the man before him, and yet so foreign. The brown eyes should have reflected the sleepy look of his lover in the early morning, the seriousness of the man sitting in the conference room, the fondness and affection that was so well hidden, yet always so easily detected by himself, not the coldness and alertness of the present; the hands that held them should have joined firmly together, allowing the fingertips to convey a warmth that felt like fire, and the slight rubbing of the fingers against the skin, bringing a pleasant shiver, rather than the contact that had ended too quickly earlier, before the warmth of the man's palm could be felt. He missed those sweet moments they had spent together, trying to find so much of the same in the person in front of him, only to have to accept the harsh reality.

You look like yourself, but you're somebody else.

You still talk like yourself, but I hear someone else.

A faint sadness filled Neil's heart, but soon those sad truths were washed away by the excitement and joy of seeing the man again. He called out to the waiter and refilled his own drink, then ordered a Diet Coke at the other man's puzzled look, an imperceptible smile curling the corners of his mouth - perhaps this was the benefit of inversion, all of the future man's preferences he remembered so well, and now that information was finally being put to use again.

"No, you don't."

He replied with a smile in the face of the man's denial.

In the not too distant future, you'll like it, Neil looked to him, a gleam in his eyes as if he were looking at a long ago lover, and pushed the words that had almost been spoken back into his heart.

They jumped off the tall building, disappearing into the night-time downtown; they discussed plans in their hotel suite in Oslo, coffee and tea spilled on the table; they were on an interception mission on the highway, their reflections in the mirror as they fought side by side. Flames turned to ice, red and blue lights streaked to hit, and after a moment of confusion and explanation, regular waves accompanied the ship's backwards course to transport them back to their initial beginnings. The blonde agent seemed to have all the information and news, but only Neil knew that the good hand he had been dealt would eventually turn into a trail of blood and pain as time passed when he was pinned hard against the glass window and the shock and anger of betrayal showed in the eyes of the man before him.

The night before he left, the man had clung to him, asking him in almost pleading tones to stay, even though they both knew that they could not defy a fate that had been written long ago. They might have stalled for time, lingering in the setting sun, constantly stealing opportunities from the deities to prolong a relationship that transcended all feelings, but in the end, it was nothing more than a rescue that spanned years, the sacrifice of one for the life of the other.

"Now, let me go."

He turned his back on him and stepped towards the helicopter a short distance away, the blinding sun making it impossible to keep his eyes open, his messy hair pinned back behind his ear. It was for the best, and he resisted the urge to look behind him at the man's cries, smiling as he accepted his death with open arms. In the near future, this brief separation would be brought to a close, and a younger, curious version of himself would emerge into the man's world, to be sought, recruited and protected. The self from years ago, the man from years later, they will once again reunite in the same place, recreating all that the present Neil has experienced.

Keep going, I'll be waiting for you at the beginning.

-

His back towards death was etched in his mind forever, the talisman glistening in the dazzling sunlight and the snowy sky as if he was heading to some grand banquet rather than the long-established endgame.

The man sat in his office, no lights on in the large space, dark, except for a few beams of light from the window that drew marks on the floor, so blindingly like that day many years ago, but now he was left alone, letting the memories of the past scratch a painful mark on his heart, that determined figure lingering. He was gone, the man told himself silently, as if the constant telling of the truth would cast away all sorrow.

From the moment Neil had left, he had become the protagonist of this story.

And next, he would take all the ephemeral memories with him to find the boy who had not yet stepped into the world of inversion, to take him with him, to watch him grow into the man he knew, and then to witness him once again on that path of no return. They would meet, the familiar messy hair and smile, the flash of inspiration in those grey-blue eyes, the impatience to find him, but the knowledge that the first second he saw the boy, the elation and the nightmare would come at the same time. The words he could not speak would turn into a dream demon in the dead of night, but would disappear into the air as a butterfly in a tender embrace.

The streets of London at midnight, with broken bottles and faint lights, he never imagined that their meeting would take place in such a scene. The man rolled down his car window and looked at the group of drunken college students clustered together, his boy staggering and pinned to the ground, his brilliant blonde hair stained with a few drops of blood, and there was nothing he could do about it - no, it wasn't time yet. But the boy's turn and the confused look he gave himself as he was pulled away froze him in place, and he remembered Neil in his tactical vest at the harbour in Tallinn, turning his head before he could understand everything and bringing him into a world of upside-down theories.

For a moment he thought his former lover had returned, even if the boy in front of him was still too young and inexperienced. "Neil," he shouted wordlessly, forcing himself to regain his composure before putting on a serious face and telling the driver to keep moving. As the black car drove swiftly across the empty road, the competent staff and driver doing what they were supposed to accomplish, no one knew that the man had spent a sleepless night in his bedroom that night, his mask of steadiness and sternness shattered to pieces at that one look, his usual pretensions torn apart, tears wetting the collar of his shirt and landing on sheets that were once warm but were now just a cold patch.

He formally recruited Neil one spring, a daytime encounter, an invitation in a bespoke dinner room.

Candlelight swayed as he recounted everything about Tenet, and the boy before him accepted his invitation without hesitation. The young blond in the suit made him think back again to their mission at the Freeport, the same man, the same attire, the same smile and charm, and he had to admit that perhaps Neil had been born with a talent for disguise, for maintaining a subtle sobriety and distance in the chaos, for navigating the edge of danger and comfort.

Then again and again, he brought him back from death to reality, only to willingly meet the fatal bullet himself for him.

"Now then," the man whispered as he wrote Neil's name on the blank file, "Let me guide you, help you, save you, until that day comes."

He watched as the boy, fresh from training, rushed into the office, excitedly sharing his messy, trivial routine with him, and he helplessly patted him on the shoulder and dropping a kiss on his forehead at the other man's expectant look. They worked as partners on missions, bouncing from safe house to safe house, silent understanding and love having long since bound their souls together the moment they reunited; six months later they moved in together, and from then on mornings were no longer filled with empty memories but minty morning kisses and murmurs in the ear.

The years faded quickly and a bitterness rose in his heart as he watched Neil gradually becoming the man he knew. The man was aware that this meant that the day was one step closer to sending the boy back in time, and that the time left for them to stay together was dwindling like fine sand in an hourglass. He would never be able to see the face of his former lover again, and could only try to hold on to the person he was at the moment, looking back at the one deep in his memory through those similar eyes.

But despite the slight differences between them, Neil will always be Neil, except that they both met each other older first, only to fill in the rest of their lives later.

I saw the part of you, that only when you're older, you will see too.

-

"Then let us meet in the future and make up for the missing kisses and hugs in a closed loop."

-


End file.
